Are My Expectations Too High? How Not to Get In Your Own Way

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Self-reflection is important for growth. Often times, we tend to have high expectations...whether it's:

• excelling on a school project,
• being certain that we're going to get that raise or new promotion at work,
• for our outfit to turn out how we planned it in our head,
• having plans to go out and the person(s) bails,
• for friends, family, significant other(s), etc. to act or be a certain type of way,
• the "expectations" your friends, family, significant other(s) put on you,
• and/or all of the above (as the list can go on)

Expectations are normal to have and can be essential for healthy relationships if used in the right way. These "high expectations" are what can boost your confidence and motivate you to strive to do your absolute best to achieve your ultimate end goal(s) and be best the person you can be. Once you achieve what you were expecting, or come very close to it, how do you usually feel and how long does it typically last?? 

• Accomplished?
• Ecstatic?
• Overwhelmed with joy?
• Unstoppable?
• Even more confident?

Food for Thought

Once all the hype dies down and is over with, do you feel the same way...or was it just temporary? Would you feel that same way if you didn't meet those "high expectations"? Or would you feel less than?

If you had high expectations for how other people should act, or for things to go be a certain way that you pictured them to be, and they don't meet it, nine times out of ten, it is NOT your fault. Maybe that person or situation was not meant for you at that specific time.

Dealing with Disappointment and Making Your Expectations Work for You

Having such high expectations can be the very subtle thief you let rob you of your own joy and can allow you to question whether or not your best was good enough...DO NOT LET IT. It's easier to give up when things get tough and it doesn't seem like you're meeting your "expectations." 

Expectations can (and will) lead you to, and cause, you unnecessary heartbreak if you allow it. Don't let those expectations make you compromise your own self-worth, value, and lead you to have negative thoughts. 

Create boundaries. Write down your absolute do's-and-don'ts that you're either willing or not willing to accept and/or compromise with. Appreciate the things and people that you DO have, and DO NOT envy or lust for the things that you DO NOT have. 

Don't get me wrong, we ALL should want better for ourselves...BUT it is important to not let such high expectations be the reason you get in your own way of success or happiness. You have to be able to do some self-reflecting, assess what it is that you really want, and find realistic ways to achieve that.

If it was meant to be, then you will see, but PATIENCE is key.